YOUTH JIU JITSU CLASSES

Character Building - Through the use of the following four pillars of character, we teach the youth in our classes how to  become young men and women of character at home and in our community.

     - Honor: Respecting those placed in authority over us

     - Responsibility: Knowing and doing what is expected of me

     - Self Control: Rejecting wrong desires and choosing to do what is right

     - Discernment: Understanding the deeper meaning of why things happen

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Bullying - Through the Bully-Be-Gone model we teach the youth in our classes how to handle all types of bullying from the perspectives of the Bully, Victim, and Bystanders.

Schools have a “zero-tolerance” for fighting. Who does this favor? The bully or the victim? While this policy does reduce the amount of physical fights that the school may encounter, what about the verbal bullying? Verbal harassment is more damaging and lasting than physical harassment. In our Jiu-Jitsu class we teach The Three T-Steps:

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Talk: Talk with the bully and ask them to stop. Asking uses our pillar of charcter, Self Control, and is more likely to work than demanding the bully stop. Use a three part sentence (1) what the bully is saying (2) how it makes you feel (3) what is the desired outcome. Like this: “When you call me stupid it makes me feel bad and I wish that you would stop.” It is possible that the person who was verbally harassing was not aware of it and by using our Talk we can defuse the situation. If the bully ignores this request, we must continue to ask them for three days. It seems like a lot, but a solution is coming.

 

Tell: Make your parents and teacher aware of the situation after three days. Why wait the three days you might ask? It is possible, through another of our  pillars of character, Discernment, that we may understand the deeper meaning of why the bully is doing what they are doing  or that the bully may stop and there was no need to trouble anyone about it. If after three days you have to tell any trusted adult, he or she will appreciate that you tried to handle it yourself. “Mrs. Hunt, I asked Bobby three days in a row to stop calling me names.” You might want to tell your parents right away to keep them informed. Some people might say you are a tattle-tail. Are you a tattle-tail if you call the fire department if you see a house burning or the police if you see someone breaking into your home? Telling is the only way to inform the right people of the situation. Tattling is when you try to benefit from your actions and telling is when everyone benefits from your information. 

 

Tackle: While your first thought is the physical act, it is not the third part of the T-Steps. Tackling mentally may solve the situation. Remember a bully feeds on fear of the victim. Once you tell them you are not afraid, they may leave you alone. Ask the bully, “Are you challenging me to a fight, because I am not afraid of you.” If the bully says no then reply with a simple response like, “Then stop calling me stupid and wasting my time.” If the bully decides to get physical, then we can use our Jiu-Jitsu skills. "If physically attacked, defend yourself"

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Regardless of how the fight starts, it is likely both parties will end up in the principal’s office. By following the three T-Steps it will be easier to explain what happened when the bully went from verbal to physical attacks over the period of at least three days. Explain how you tried to resolve the situation by “asking” the bully to stop. Explain how you informed the teacher of the situation. It is very possible that the teacher did talk with the bully. It might have reduced the amount or just made sure it wasn’t done in the classroom where the teacher can observe. Explain that you asked the bully if their intentions where to fight and that you had no intentions of injuring the bully but using your Jiu-Jitsu to protect yourself. If you followed the rules, you should not have any fear from your parents. You may be suspended from school due to the “zero-tolerance” rule on fighting, but let’s examine the end result. Do you think the bully will be more likely to verbally harass you in the future? Do you think that word got out and is around the school that you are not going to stand for this kind of behavior?